This thing called envy, eh. Hmm.

It doesn’t always announce itself. It doesn’t wear a neon sign that says “Jealous person approaching!” Nor does it put on a yellow face cap with bright red prints that say, ‘avoid me, I am jealous’

On the contrary, most times, it smiles sweetly, and tops the smile with an “Aww, I’m so happy for you!”

But then, in the stillness, you feel it. That tiny tug.

“Why her?” “How did he get that offer?” “Wait, didn’t I just advise them last month?”

That feeling? That’s envy. And we need to deal with it. Quickly.

Jealousy is only cool when you score the 7 letter word J-EA-L-O-U-S in Scrabble. Outside that? It is messy. It is sneaky. Very sneaky.

It creeps up on you like that flu that starts off as a tiny itch in your throat. It starts small, looking very harmless, but before you know it, you’re running a solo race against people who are minding their business while you’re gasping for breath. They don’t even know you’re sweating over their wins.

I’ve felt it too.

A friend once shared content on the exact topic I’d been planning to post. It was brilliant. I laughed… and then thought, “Ah, he beat me to it.”

Just a flicker. But I caught it.

So I sent a message: “Great piece, well done.”

Believe me, it was not just for him, but for me because I have learned that celebrating others is a different type of warfare. You literally have to fight to do it genuinely.

The snag is, you can’t build freely while secretly resenting those who remind you that more is possible.

These are some things I try to do when the green-eyed monster tries to rear its ugly head:

i. I call it out early: When that twinge comes, I name it. Immediately. ”Envy, is that you?” Awareness rids it of its power.

ii. I celebrate others on purpose: Even when ego tries to speak up, I shut it with a clap. A loud one. Every genuine cheer makes my spirit stronger.

iii. I audit my inputs: If someone’s success keeps unsettling me, I pause the scroll. Comparison loses oxygen when you step away.

But most importantly, when someone else’s win triggers me, I ask myself why.

Sometimes it’s not jealousy. It is conviction. It is a reminder that I’m not where I should be, not because I lack what it takes, but perhaps I’ve been waiting for perfect conditions. I look inwards to check the likely culprits. Procrastination? Impostor syndrome?

Or their progress is shining a light on what I keep postponing or holding back from making happen.

So I do something about it. I read. I learn. I create. I move.

I have found that nothing kills envy faster than your own progress, however little.

Someone else’s win isn’t proof that you’re behind. It is evidence that success is still happening in your generation. It means it is possible. For YOU.

So breathe.

Refocus.

Return to your lane, clear-eyed, grateful and free. And as they say, ‘dey your dey.’ Then build.

Without the bitterness. Without the comparison.

The sky is big enough for everyone.

Spread your wings, and fly.