This thing called envy, eh. Hmm.
It doesn’t always announce itself. It doesn’t even wear a neon sign that says “Jealous person approaching!” Nor does it put on a yellow face cap with bright red prints that say, ”Avoid me, I am jealous.”
On the contrary. Most times, it smiles sweetly, and tops the smile with an “Aww, I’m so happy for you!” or even hides behind a perfectly timed red hearted emoji.
Afterwards, in the stillness of the moment, you would feel the tiny tug somewhere inside you.
The quiet “Why her?”
Or the indignant “How did he get that offer?”
Or that mild irritation that someone you once gave advice to suddenly seems ten steps ahead.

Bring your ear close, I want to whisper something. Closer. Closer… good. Now hear me clearly, “That feeling, is envy. Pure and simple, and you have to kill it. Quickly.”
You see, envy is sneaky; it slips in looking very harmless, but before you know it, it starts poisoning your joy and you find yourself competing in this solo 400m race with people who are busy minding their business while you continue exerting yourself and are gasping for breath!

I’ve felt it too.
A friend once shared a video on the exact topic I’d been planning to speak on.
It was so good, I laughed… and then I thought, “Ah. She beat me to it.”
Just a tiny flicker. Flashing like a firefly, but I caught it. Envy.
So I sent her a message quickly: “Great work, well done.”
Not just for her, but for me; I have learned that a lot of times, celebrating others is warfare. You literally have to fight to not just do it, but to do it genuinely.

The thing is, envy doesn’t always roar; in some cases it sighs and scrolls past quietly. The main issue here is you can’t build freely while secretly resenting those who remind you that more is possible. That is why you must do something about it. Fast.
Wake up every day determined to, as that dear child put it, “dey your dey’’ (in other words, face your lane). Pay conscious effort, daily, to silence that unsolicited voice that whispers, “It should have been you.” To die to the need to be seen, to win, to prove a point.

Me, for my sanity and preservation, I try to do these things (I am not saying I always get it right, but at least I tryyyy)
I call it out early: When that twinge comes, I call it out! I tell myself this is envy dressed as a motivational speaker, not inspiration.” For me, being aware of it takes away its power.
I celebrate others on purpose: Even when ego tries to rear its head, I clap for others. Loudly. I have seen that every time I genuinely cheer for someone, my spirit grows stronger.
I audit my inputs: If someone’s success keeps unsettling me, I pause the scrolling and just cap it. There and then. I nip it in the bud. You see, comparison loses oxygen when you step away. It’s a lot of hard work to stop the scroll at that moment but it is harder work to deal with the gloomy veil comparison tries to throw over you.

But, most importantly, if a friend’s win triggers you, ask yourself why. Why am I upset by her/his win?
Sometimes it is not only jealousy, it is conviction. It is a reminder that you are not where you should be, not because you don’t have what it takes, but because er… perhaps you’ve been dilly dallying. (Uh-oh. Yes, I said it.)
Their progress is shining a light on the thing you keep postponing and waiting for perfect conditions for.
Do something about it.
Read. Learn. Create. Move. Move. The farmer who waits for perfect conditions never plants any crop. So, move. Just move.
Nothing kills envy faster than your own progress, however little.

Someone else’s win isn’t an indication that you’re behind.
It’s just evidence that success is still happening in your generation.
It means it is possible, for YOU.
So breathe, my friend.
Focus. Refocus.
Return to your lane, clear-eyed, grateful, and free. Dey your dey.
Then, build. Without the bitterness. Without the sting. Without the comparison.
Like they say, the sky is big enough for everyone. Spread your wings, and fly.